Now. Serenity.
Here I sit, with a new Mnt Dew (oh yes, I drink them all day. how else could i survive on 3 hours of sleep EVERY SINGLE NIGHT? And Trish, I know it's strange but it's how I survive! Give me a break!), a box of Golden Grahams and my shows DVRed. Nice. And quiet. Gray just fell asleep and C is in the other room working.
Finally.
Three things tonight.
1. Thanks thanks thanks to my mom who rescued me today by dropping off and picking up the kid's prescriptions and taking the girls home for a while to feed them dinner, bringing them home fed and ready for bed. The title of my life right now could be "rescued by super mom!" Thanks mom.
2. When we got home from the doctor I gave the girls lunch (Happy Meals) and hurried to sit down to feed Grayson. Just as I sat down Bailey said she had to go potty so I told her to go ahead and go (she knows to ask to get up from the table which has been a huge victory in table manners here!). She was in there a moment and started crying really hard. I asked what was wrong and got no answer. I asked again and got no answer. Grayson was eating or I would have run in there. The crying stopped after just a minute and when I asked a third time she said "nothing." It was such an adult response it surprised me and I got up wondering how seconds after crying fairly hard everything was fine and "nothing was wrong." I peeked in and asked again what happened and she said "nothing" so I dropped it b/c she did appear fine and went back to feeding Grayson. When she was done she came out asking me to help her button her jeans and I noticed she was soaking wet. I asked if she'd had an accident, she said yes, I proceeded to tell her why I hate accidents and why they're so bad. I went on and on. And just now, sitting in peace for the first time today that moment today struck me and brought me to tears. She was crying b/c she was embarrassed and knew I would be mad. She told me nothing was wrong b/c she didn't want to get in trouble. I feel awful. It's not her fault that she told me at the doctor's she had to go potty and I forgot in the midst of utter chaos. It's not her fault that she held it for over an hour and then just seconds before sitting down she couldn't hold it anymore. But it is my fault that I am so hard on her. And expect perfection from her. And need her to be my big girl b/c I just can't have any more babies around me all day. And that breaks my heart and will cause me to go lay with her for a while tonight just cuddling her in her sleep. And it will hopefully force me to slow down and be less hard on her. And it will remind me that an accident is just that, an ACCIDENT, that she didn't do it just to piss me off. Why is motherhood so freaking hard all the time?
3. I want to share the Hammerschmidt photos with you since all I've done the last few days is TALK endlessly on here!
I met this family last fall when I photographed them as a surprise for their mom. I guess their mom loved the gift b/c she came with them this year! I am so blessed to have so many returning clients this year. I love seeing how much the kids have grown and catching up with the moms. This shoot was great though b/c I didn't get to catch up with just one family, I got to catch up with three and meet the parents! Thanks for calling me again Heather... your kids get cuter every year!
Thanks again Heather and family! It was so great to see you all again!
4. I know I said 3 things, sue me. I wanted to share this cute little card I did for my friend Angie (or Miss Angie as the girls call her b/c she's Parker's AMAZING teacher!)...
Isn't that cute? I wish I had the energy to do Halloween cards of my own kids!
5. Thanks for all the comments today! It totally helped put that crazy morning into perspective. There are so many amazing things about blogging and I found this great post all about blogging from Fern's blog tonight... go HERE. Seriously. GO HERE.
