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So of all people, Miley Cyrus gave me my epiphany yesterday.
So random.
But have you heard her new song? The Climb?
I download music a lot b/c the kids and I sing all day so if there is new music that I think I might like I go ahead and get it. This was one of those songs.
Did you listen to it?
So I was running and mad and frustrated and running and sad and hurt and wondering and running. I was grumpy and agitated and waiting and running. I was anxious and angry and praying and running. Then this song came on and it all clicked.
Miley stinking Cyrus. Of all people.
"not about how fast I get there, not about what's waiting on the other side... it's about the climb"
Or something like that. I may have taken out a few "aints" b/c I just can't type those, but you get the idea.
Life, lately, has been tough. Chris is gone ALL the TIME. As in, he doesn't see the kids awake but for mere minutes in the morning all week. I'm on kid duty from about 6am until 7pm, on house duty 24-7, laundry duty, etc. I do all the errands. I clean the bathrooms. I pick up his slack around the house b/c he's just never here. And the moments he is here on the weekends I plan shoots. And speaking of shoots, did I mention that while balancing regular life I am also trying to GROW a business? It's hard.
Our kids are young. And close together. We don't have a lot of money. We have NO time together or to ourselves. I am either with the kids or working. I have no other options.
And normally I am ok with it. I keep on keepin on and make it work. I support Chris the best I can, I clean our house as often as I can, I work to keep up with laundry and I strive to keep my business growing and my clients happy with my work. And 99% of the time it's all ok.
But then I have a week like last week that is SO hard it makes me want to run away. Or crawl under my covers and declare this mommy OUT OF SERVICE. Come back later. But there are babies to nurse and bottoms to wipe and floors to clean. You can't shut out life b/c it comes to find you in the form of little feet and whining "mooooommmmyyyys"
So anyway, by last night I had just had it and it was the fuel that finally got me running again. And as I was pounding the pavement and asking God why He had decided that I could handle all of this b/c I was sure that I just couldn't anymore, that song came on.
And Miley, oh wise 13 year old that she is (I have no idea how old she is but come on, she's young right?) has it exactly right. It's about the CLIMB.
It's about the tiny moments each day. The smiles and giggles that fill this house. The running and playing and LIVING that goes on here. My kids are not going to remember if their clothes were in their drawers perfectly folded or in a basket on the floor. They won't remember if they had stains on their shirts or perfectly put-together outfits. They won't remember my clean floors or the mowed lawn or anything.
They will remember me doing art projects with them EVERY DAY. And they'll remember all the trips to the park I make time for. The walks we go on as a family when we can. The trips to their Grandparent's houses. Games we play, books we read and prayers we say together. They will remember the hugs and the kisses and the overwhelming feeling and knowledge that they were LOVED. Great and huge and big time loved.
Do I still have to work? Oh yes. For financial reasons mostly and also b/c it feeds my soul. Do I have to keep the house and clothes clean? For the most part, yes. But is it ok if I stop cleaning to play on the floor with them? Absolutely.
That song, it reminded me that life is not a race. There is no finish line. It just keeps going, every day, steady. Except that there is NO promise of tomorrow. It IS all about TODAY. And living life for today. Living it to the best of our abilities.
Anyway, it was incredible. I started out my run just overwhelmed with my life and wondering how I could keep going like I have been and I ended my run in the BEST mood. I knew that it would all be ok. No need to stress. Just live. Slow down and live.
And live for today.
So how did that play into my day today? Well, I slowed down a bit this morning and played with the girls while Gray napped. We went to the park. I read stories at bedtime even though I was exhausted. I ignored the fact that the breakfast dishes were on the table still at bedtime (we ate lunch+dinner at my mom's!). And I edited photos and returned emails and worked. Because that's my life too. But it's all good. Great even.
IF this LONG post does anything, I hope it encourages you to take some of the pressure off yourself and just slow down. Enjoy this life as it's going by at breakneck speeds. And it's the only one we have. Slow down. Enjoy it.
And if nothing else, hopefully when I've forgotten this lesson I will hear that song and be reminded of it all over again! Thanks Miley! HA!
I read a lot of photography blogs by some really amazing photographers and I hear a lot of them say that they wish they could do all of the shooting and none of the editing. And actually, there are a lot of photogs out there that pay someone to do their post processing.
But I really LOVE the editing process. Sometimes I like playing with my photos on my computer just as much as I love taking them while out on location!
And here is WHY:
Taking this photo was a TON of fun. Brandi and Jeff were up for ANYTHING and didn't bat an eye when I wanted to try a new location. And they didn't bat a second eye when that location was a total bust. AND they didn't bat a third eye or WHATEVER when I spotted a building up the hill covered in graffiti that we saw as we got closer was in a pretty bad neighborhood and totally condemned. Like sign on the door warning you to stay off the property. Like we had to jump down a wall to get in there. Like every time the wind blew we all spun around to make sure there wasn't someone there waiting to GET US.
Can I just say one more time how much I love it when people are UP FOR ANYTHING and let me just CREATE the way I want to??? LOVE IT.
So anyway, the session was a blast, we laughed so hard so many times and I came away feeling like I'd just spent the afternoon getting some sun and laughing with friends. Which I did. They are my good friends AND I came away a bit sunburned (I've had at least 5 people tell me since Friday how cute my freckles look! So funny what a bit of sun does to your face!).
BUT.
But that doesn't mean that when I got home and saw photos like THIS pop onto my screen it didn't mean I was unexcited to get cracking on the editing! Because I was. I love to edit. And HERE is why.
Because you are able to take a photo like this:
And turn it into a photo like THIS:
Oh man do I love layer masks in photoshop!
So you see. I think it is both an art. All part of the package. Lots of people can take good, well-composed photos. And lots of people are good in photoshop. But I think the true art, and why you pay someone like me MORE than you pay Sears Portrait Studio, is b/c I can do both. I can get the cool shot and make it even cooler in PS.
And we all want to be cooler don't we? HA!
Don't you just love before and afters??? I DO!
TODAY: Hello Monday! SO GLAD YOU ARE HERE b/c it means the most insane week EVER is over and a new one can begin. I had a major epiphany yesterday that if I grab a snippet of time later I will tell you about. It happened while out on a RUN. Oh yes. I ran. Or jogged. Or thought I was going to die while barely moving faster than a slow walk around our neighborhood. But I was out and about and MOVING and all was good. Especially when I had an epiphany about life and tears rolled down my cheeks. You have to love that! Today has been a bit wonky but totally cool. Spent the morning scouting crazy new locations with my mom in my car next to me and the two smallest ones in the back. Then we had a quick lunch before I went to a meeting that was canceled without me knowing it came home to work in a quiet house while my non-napping children tore up my mom's house! And now I'm heading out the door to get the kids and hit the park. Because today, unlike the weekend, is GORGEOUS and we're going to ENJOY IT!
HEAR THAT? Enjoy It!
Oh my gosh. These TINY babies I got to hang out with today were absolutely the cutest! SO sweet and so perfect. For being more than a month early they were so big and perfectly healthy! Such a blessing.
Their parent's were pretty cool too!
I'm playing catch up from the EIGHT (I rescheduled one from yesterday b/c I was just freaking out about how I was going to balance it all... thanks for being flexible Tracy!) shoots I had this week so I only have a small sneak peek tonight for Andy and Maureen...
Man alive I can't tell them apart! Just know that one is little Jack and one is Finn! SO CUTE!
Working with twins might just be my newest obsession!
and somehow I still feel exhausted. Not sure what that's about!
But did you catch that? FIVE hours in a ROW! Um, that hasn't happened since, um, maybe before Bailey was born? Holy cow. Before I think too hard on the years of no sleep, I have to tell you the big news!
Grayson slept through the night!!!
I am scared that just saying those words will jinx us back to two feedings a night but I also feel like shouting it from the rooftops...
WE MAY HAVE JUST CROSSED A MASSIVE MILESTONE IN A LIFE WITH THREE YOUNG KIDS!!!
Ah sleep. I've missed you.
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Bailey says, "Upside Over" ever time she means "upside down" or "inside out" and I love it.
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At C's soccer game this morning my friend's daughter (whose dad is one of C's asst coaches) shouted, "COME ON WEBSTER! YOU'RE NOT LOSERS! SCORE!"
I'm still laughing!
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I love it that Parker is at the age of dressing herself b/c we end up leaving the house with her looking like this:
I am usually pretty anal about them looking at least semi-cute but when they hit this age I can't help but laugh every time they tell me how beautiful they look!
"I so Prippie Mommy!" (I'm so PRETTY)
I swear she posed like that on her own! HA!
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Tomorrow I am shooting my first newborn twins and I couldn't be more excited! Oh my gosh. I can't wait!
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Yesterday I was running around and THREE separate times, while OUT, I realized that my nursing bra was not latched. Meaning, I was out and about in more ways than one!
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Over at The Hybrid Kid they have some AWESOME new things available for downloading... all centered around Eric Carle's, The Hungry Caterpillar book, which we love in this house!
One of them is this little paper bag book that is SO simple to create and my girls loved making the book from start to finish!
I never got a finished photo b/c some disaster happened or something, but we've created at least 6 of these little books now (I toss them after a day or so and we do it again) and they LOVE it. They also have this awesome counting worksheet that Bailey is so good at, it's a little old for Parker but she has fun pretending.
Go check it out HERE.
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Yesterday while waiting for Bailey to buckle herself into her carseat I told her to hurry up and she said, "OK Mom, stop BOSSIN' me!"
I wanted to slap* her I was so mad and the whole way home we talked about what "sassy" meant.
OOOH I am not ready for this stage of sassiness!
*not that I would ever slap her, it was just that it sounded SO ugly coming out of her sweet mouth and infuriated me that she knew how to talk like that!
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Remember Allison, of Initially Yours, the creator of the cute bibs from last post?
Well, I think she topped herself in the cuteness factor when she brought over these shirts for the girls...
Oh man I love them.
BUT then I saw THESE shirts and just died!
"WG (Webster Groves) Coach's Kid!"
SO CUTE!
They wore them to yesterday's game and will wear them again this afternoon. Of course the fans were dying! Actually, the team was warming up when we arrived yesterday and they literally stopped and all the girls ran over to see them! It was adorable.
Kind of like this photo...
Oh I love it.
The best part?
If you are interested in ANYTHING Webster related (I know I have some WG people that read this!), Allison is going to donate 10% of all things webster back to the Girls' Soccer Team!!!
She'll do onesies, bibs, t-shirts, etc. Really, she'll do anything you like! I have an order form I can send you so please email me if you're interested in supporting the team!!!
Thanks!
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On Thursday I met up with a sweet little 7 week old, Charlie (the bib recipient!)... here's is one lone sneak peek as I have had NO time to touch any others...
I have so many sweet ones from this session as they had the most GORGEOUS home. Seriously, it was beautiful. And the light was to die for.
Yesterday I go to see Cale again (we shot him right before and after his birth!) for his 4 month photos and OMG wait until you see where I dragged this family! Let's just say that there was so much broken glass they couldn't sit anywhere and we were so scared someone was going to attack us that we were all on high alert! MAN they were troopers and we got great images to prove it! Sneak peek coming soon!
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Kim asked me to post about "what's in my bag" and I guess I never have b/c it is SO uninteresting!
I shoot with the Canon 40D and 99% of the time I have my 50mm 1.4 lens on there.
We use the money I make to, you know, feed+diaper our kids, so I haven't had the resources to invest in bigger and better equipment. Someday...
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I've missed blogging this week, can you tell? HA! And although I have a million other random things I could blabber on about the Grayman is up from his nap and screaming calling me.
Happy Saturday!
I love how life is one long string of connections. A million tiny moments and meetings and laughs that weave in and out of your life and the lives around you.
Here we go.
I met Alison in 8th grade. I think. Maybe 7th but I only remember her from 8th grade. And we became really good friends. She introduced me to Gelly Roll pens and The Samples. Two things that are still up front in my life today.
We went to high school together and somewhere during freshman year we drifted apart. As I did with a million friends from grade school to high school to college, doesn't everyone?
Fast forward about ten years and last year I photographed another friend from high school, Becky, who emailed friends and family my blog when her photos were posted. I may be wrong about all the details here, but I think that's when Alison started reading my blog.
Which of course I didn't even know about for a long time. That she read the blog I mean. Until she contacted me around Christmas for a family session for her ENTIRE family this spring. She got in on my 2008 rates!
So last Saturday I got to meet up with the entire Hagan clan and although it was by far one of my busiest sessions, it was so so great. Partly b/c it was fun watching such a big family play and interact together and partly b/c it brought back a million memories of sleep overs at Alison's house 15 years ago!
Here's a sneak peek (that I know they've been DYING for)...
That's Alison and her sweet husband, Nick. I swear, she looks exactly the same! Still totally beautiful.
I mean really. How cute is that family?
SO.
Alison is incredibly smart and in thinking ahead to motherhood has started her own embroidery business. Something she can do from home once they decide it's time to add more cute kids to this family! So smart.
I've started giving my newborn clients one of Alison's custom designed bibs as a thank you...
Cute right?
Watch for it Jodified clients b/c I'm working on a way to give EVERY client something from Alison!
Anyway, that adorable "Teddy" bib was given to the little man himself yesterday and although I didn't take a photo of him wearing it, I just know he loved it!
I mean, he looks totally enthusiastic doesn't he? HA!
Um. Do you see those lips? To. Die. For.
You will not believe what that awesome colored blanket is that little Teddy is swaddled perfectly in... a $2 dish towel from Shop n Save! WHAT? Oh yeah! And Missy had them in all these cute+vibrant colors! Instead of bibs I may be having those monogrammed in the future! So cute.
Ahhhh. Sunset. Love it.
So now, as Alison spent time with her heart and hands creating that sweet bib she is now connected to Missy+Josh+Teddy each time they put that cute bib on him, to you know, slobber all over!
I just love how life is one long string of connections. A million tiny moments and meetings and laughs that weave in and out of your life and the lives around you.
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How many sessions did I say I had this week? I can't remember. But let me tell you that with Teddy's birth+newborn photos plus my first TWIN newborn photos (coming soon!) I am up to NINE sessions this week. Holy hell. I've never been busier. Just running around crazy and totally hopped up on Mnt Dew which is basically the only way I'm surviving right now. Because did I also mention that we picked THIS WEEK to let Gray cry-it-out at night? Because how in the world would sleep help anything? HA!
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IF YOU ARE PREGNANT AND CONSIDERING ME FOR YOUR MATERNITY PHOTOS please email me your address! I have a video I put together to show you what having your BIRTH photographed is all about. I'm sorry, not YOUR birth. Your baby's birth. You know what I mean. So email me and I will send you the DVD!
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Running out the door to another session with Charlie (of the bib pictured above!)!
Is Grey's NEW tonight??? Anyone know???
Have a good one!
I may just have to move to Surrey b/c I have just found THE MOST INCREDIBLE artist there and I have to be her neighbor!
Check out this hand woven playhouse...
I mean seriously! Doesn't that just kick all the plastic Little Tykes playhouses butt?
And while on her ETSY site I found these:
And did something I NEVER do. I immediately ordered them! I am in LOVE and will be stalking the postman waiting for them to get here. From England. And one of the most amazing artists I've seen.
The best part? They were totally affordable! I paid $14.50 for six of these stars (or rustic fairy wands as she calls them) and that includes the shipping! LOVE THIS!
So anyway. Just a slight distraction this morning when I should be working before the little man wakes up and I have to be a parent again. The girls are watching The Wizard of Oz for the first time! Love that.
TODAY: A whole bunch of random. Grocery store, possible playdate, cleaning, editing, etc. I got one session from Saturday done that I will show you later during naps if I can... three cute little girls!
It's going to be a good one!
I'm running out the door and will talk more about this as I post more, but b/c I know Missy and Josh are dying to see some photos I wanted to post a few this morning!
So lets call this an overview. But just a preview as I will have LOTS more to share soon!
I love that Teddy is just minutes old here. Literally.
I hope those make you smile on this Monday morning!
I am still processing how amazing it was to be able to be a part of that night. The night Teddy was welcomed into the world. Truly a blessing and one I hope to do with lots of other clients!
TODAY: I'm off to drop the kids at my mom's so I can go to a session. We have Easter grass all over the house that needs cleaning up and the never ending pile of laundry that needs taming (thanks Chris for all you put away last night!). I have hundreds of photos to edit and did I say FOUR sessions this week? I meant FIVE! WHEW! That is a LOT for me in one week. Grayson was 10 months yesterday and I need to get some photos of him, Parker has the sniffles AGAIN and I feel my cold coming back. Gray is about to pop two more teeth and Bailey is as cute as ever. Have a GOOD one!
Enjoy it!
Our Easter, today, has been so amazing.
We started out at church and then had an incredible brunch with my parents. We ran home for naps and then went back out to C's parent's for an egg hunt, then to his Aunt's house to see more family and do ANOTHER egg hunt and we ended the night out to dinner with C's parents and brothers.
It was a really good day but we are ALL exhausted! It's a lot to fit into one day with three young kids!
My exhaustion comes mainly from the fact that Friday night I got to photograph a BIRTH and was at the hospital from about 9:30pm until 4am! It was AWESOME and I have LOTS of photos to share soon! Then I had two sessions on Saturday on NO sleep. So coming into this busy day I was so so so tired and now I just feel like I've been hit by bus. A bit of work and then early to bed or I will not survive the FOUR sessions I have this week! And of course Chris has SIX games in SIX days this week too so it's lots of time by myself with the kids.
I seriously need to buy stock in Mountain Dew.
After taking 2640 (exactly!) photos on Friday night/Saturday I was very slow to bring out the camera today and totally missed any photos with my parents (today or last night when we did an egg hunt at their house) or them finding their baskets this morning at our house, but I did break it out for the hunt at GoGo and Bubba's house...
Chris fighting for eggs!
I LOVE this image of Bailey's hand finding an egg!
Then we went outside b/c I was desperate to get at least ONE shot of the kids dressed up for Easter. But oh LORDY why can't I take good photos of my kids?
Bailey is fake smiling, Gray is about to scream and Parker is licking the snot off her face! And you can't see their cute outfits anyway!
Parker looks cute here although the giant Grayman is almost the same size as her now and blocks most of her, Bailey's fake smile took on a whole new meaning here and Grayson is totally bored. And I swear this is the best of the best!
At least they look KIND OF cute for the photo with GoGo and Bubba! And then, since we were doing the required boring family portraits (that I truly hate and NEED to go out on a shoot with someone just for us SOON!) I made Chris come over and get in on the action.
I love that Bailey is pretending to take photos here!
The best one we got today. Just reiterates why I love my personal style so much. This is just NOT our family. Again, we need photos taken SOON to capture who we are and not just our cheesy smiles!
And IF I frame anything from today it would be this one. WAY more US.
And I seriously need to start a photo album of all the photos people take of me that look like this! HA!
I hope you all had a marvelous Easter Sunday! Look for a MILLION sneak peeks from me this week!
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